


Eridan: Be The Fishy Codpacking Fuck

by adiostoreadoormat (choicescarfsylveon)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Light Bondage, M/M, Read This After Chapter 2, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 09:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18466354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choicescarfsylveon/pseuds/adiostoreadoormat
Summary: You want him in ways you can never have.Side piece forShit Let's Be Droid Hunters: Eridan sells Karkat out to the Star Commission





	Eridan: Be The Fishy Codpacking Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Eridan is the worst but I love writing evil points of view

 

Your name is Eridan Ampora, you are a General in the Interstellar Relations Division of the Metropolis Star Commission, and this isn't even the worst thing you've ever done.

 

Tonight, the day after your twenty seventh birthday, Karkat has you tied up in a back room of the Retrohaus 6. You're putting on a show of your response to him, which is why he enjoys you. The theatrics. He dominates the thrilling reversal of your roles, and you could do this all night, you really could. 

 

You know about the cameras in the rooms. It's part of the thrill for you. The fact that you  _could_ get caught doing this, but you never will. He notices you're looking right into one and laughs, shaking his head and yanking at the rope around your throat.

 

"Having fun eyefucking the Star Commander herself?"

 

You take a moment to register the choke, seeing stars. "Shut the fuck up and get back to ridin' me."

 

Karkat tugs your noose tighter, smiling. "Only if you're good."

 

Karkat is one of the droids - your favorite of two or three - that keep you going back to the 6. He can talk in beautiful fucking circles around the brainfried people you spend all your working time with. Knows his science and psychology and theory and yeah that's probably just because he's a robot, fake intelligence, something he was given and something he ain't earned. But maybe it's more than that.

 

You've never been big on the Androids have souls thing. How can they? They're silicone and platinum, processors and motors, you're better than they are by virtue a you're alive and they never will be. So why does Karkat feel more alive than you?

 

Whatever. You have fun together, that's the point. He genuinely likes you, even if he claims he fucking hates you sometimes. He told you from the jump that he never tells clients he likes them, that you should consider yourself lucky. You told him that he should consider  _himself_ lucky, and he laughed. That's your rapport. If you ever needed to put him in his place, you could, but you don't ever see the need for that. What could he ever do that would actually threaten your power? He's going to make less than 20000 units a month for the rest of his "life," and you make millions. 

 

Turns out, there is one thing he could do that threatens you.

 

He falls in love with another client. Sure, he'd never told you he  _loved you,_ but like is a very strong word in Metropolis. Maybe it's you who loves him. Probably not. You're possessive, you can admit that about yourself easily.

 

You knew the other guy the moment you saw them together, few weeks after you returned from a hostile takeover mission with the Alternian fleet. He's actual royalty, Dave The Defector, though you know he ain't  _really_ a defector since he still works for his government. Just in one of the lowest ranks he could possibly slum to. That's not true, the bounty hunters may not get all the glory, but sometimes you envy their job. It's a lot less paperwork for damn sure, more freedom and autonomy, killing for killing's sake. The Droid Marshals and bounty hunters ain't direct bitches of the Star Commander like you are. They get to choose who they kill.

 

Dave and Karkat are about to go to the back. You know it before they even head there. You can tell by the way Dave's looking him up and all around, and there's goddamn  _affection_ in both of their expressions. How long has K known this guy? You've seen Dave around here before, but never with yours, never with anyone. You feel rife with malice as you watch them go, and it only gets worse. Dave comes back for months, always the same hours as you, and you watch time and time again as Karkat follows, falling deeper into his trap.

 

The next time you have Karkat alone, you question him about his strange loyalty. He doesn't want to answer, you can tell, but you can make him. That's the nature of the beast that is class.

 

"I think you're misunderstanding the point of what I do here," he says to you at first, calmer than his usual, "which is surprising, considering you. He's a buyer and buyers have units. He's good company and we get along, which helps with the nature of the work, but."

 

He stops there. His mistake.

 

"But you love the fuckin' guy and you're a fuckin' robot," you say. His face doesn't change, and you wish it would. "I ain't one a those who's gonna act like people and Androids don't fall in love around this place, I know that shit as much as the next guy and I ain't ever snitched. But that's danger, Karkat, you know that."

 

His eyes flicker away from you, which is as much admittance as he's going to willingly give.

 

"You're making a lot of bold claims there, General," he says. "I've never loved a human, or anything else."

 

You give at that, far faster than you were expecting. He comes to the chair where you sit, draping himself around you, and your militancy expires. You were never going to make him. You don't wanna believe it. Maybe he doesn't either.

 

He rocks on top of you, comfortable, slow, knowing that's your weakness. Looking you right in the eye.

 

"You sure you don't love him?" you say.

 

He nods, composed. "One hundred percent."

 

By the time it's been over a year - eighteen months, you were counting - his favorite human client is already gone. You still think about seeing them together before, all that time. As much as it made you want to disassemble them both, you waited, knowing in your gut that that shit would burn out. It did, six months from today. You've had more of his time since, back to normal. If something seems off about his programming, even months later, like he's _mourning_ the fucker, you aren't about to acknowledge that. 

 

The last time you ever see him, he takes a risk, and he trusts you. You're lying next to him on the satin hoverbed, facing each other. Some nights, you're both tired and you just talk. Tonight is one of those.

 

"Can you do me a favor?" Karkat says.

 

You're almost going to say yes immediately, because  _fuck_ he trusts you and maybe you do love him and Dave has been gone and he's never coming back.

 

"Yeah," you say eventually. "What is it?"

 

You see his eyes scroll through menus on their screens, searching for something specific. 

 

"If you can," he says, "I need you to send a message to someone outside for me."

 

You're assuming it's going to be another Android, someone who lives in a District he can't afford to send data that far to.

 

"I can do that," you say.

 

"It's someone in the government," he says, and your alarm bells flare, but there's nothing sure yet. "And if there's the slightest chance that you're gonna back out and decide to sell, I won't bother, so just tell me now."

 

You scoff. "I been a General six years, hell a quarter a the units I make is from smugglin' messages from governments to outsiders and back and worse shit than that. I got you, K."

 

He sends the note from his software to your gear.

 

"Thanks," he says, and he glides his face against your chest. You feel heat there and you know you shouldn't. "I appreciate you, as much as I give you shit. You're real, and for all that humans are technically the real ones, almost all the ones I meet are fake."

 

You open the message that night when you return to your palace. The IP to the gear he needs it to go doesn't have a name, but you can find it. You need to make sure the transfer will be worth it.

 

It isn't. Dave's IP and information show itself in your inquiry.

 

**I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. I NEED YOU. COME BACK.**

 

You were fucking foolish to think that it was over. Are you not enough for him? Months have gone by, and while he's with you, he's still thinking of him. 

 

You could just send this proof of desperation directly to Dave from your current location, tonight. But you're a petty motherfucker.

 

The next morning, you scour Dave out in the crowded hall of the Bounty Headquarters. He's looking at something on his Pocketgear, neutral faced, barely reacts when you walk up to him. Conceited shit should be bowing, on his knees begging, given what you're about to do.

 

"General," he says, bored.

 

You open Karkat's note up on your Visorgear, kicking the file over to Dave's.

 

"Karkat needs you," you tell him. "Good luck with that."

 

You walk into the Droid Control Office and ask to see someone from Intel. The Android at the desk asks you to wait for an officer. You tell the nuts and bolts your shit is urgent, you're General Ampora. The droid complies with no hesitation, setting you up with an officer in a private room right away.

 

"Talked to somebody who's a double in the Neon Valley Street District. Contamination, 57821 and Dave Strider. Retrohaus 6."

 

The officers are meant to be trained not to react, but you know she's only human, surprised by the surname. Her eyebrows lift, and then drop.

 

"Can you find me the proof?" 

 

You nod. "Easy."

 

The officer leaves you alone in the darkened surveillance center. There are more videos of them than you realized there would be. You don't watch a one, touching and dragging their thumbnails from one holographic screen to the next. Business is business. If your anger is only building and not turning into the gleeful revenge and satisfaction you thought it would, well.

 

When you're done with the work of it, something occurs to you. There'd be no reason for anyone to suspect you, not with the way you shit talk the practice to big-ups, and none of your fellow Generals who also hit the streets are going to cross you. Still.

 

You log out of your ID and use one of the others - random sub-Generals, lower than you - you've kept memorized to cover your tracks. You thought that when you saw the recordings of you and Karkat, you'd want to take them, save them. But even just looking at the thumbnails, you're sick to your stomach.

 

You never deserved him and don't deserve much, you'd wager sometimes. Still, since you're in, you delete every last video. Delete him from you.

 

And if you still think about him some nights, well that's just a fluke and you'd never admit it.

 

 


End file.
